Sick!

Day 7: Terribly sick, had to go for the school talk even when I can't even hear myself or walk properly. Cabbed over & finished the talk while trying not to lose my balance.

Decided to seek medical advice before it gets worse. Cannot find the panel of doctors & when I finally did, there were loads of sick people waiting. Currently at 19 & I'm 40. Guess it's gonna be a long wait.

Hate this place I'm at because it's near to his house. I dun wanna him to have the last laugh, that I'm doing lousier than him. I want him to regret his decision. I need to live better than him, to prove to him that his decisions are wrong! I hate him for doing this to me, canceling the starhub, refusal to return the car, etc. He's behaving worse than a normal friend! How can such a person sleep peacefully at night? Doesn't he get consumed & haunted by his own doings? How can he live like nothing was wrong? I despise myself so much that I'm still pinning for him!!!