May updates

Life has been looking better I guess, after I've straighten out my thoughts. Had been super affected by Kyo the past few months that I even went to read through his own blogs, in wee hours of the night, and felt super upset that I didn't participate in those stages of his life. I was guilty and wondered if things would have changed if I didn't make that decision back then (or if I had gone all out 7 years ago). So I fed on his seemingly affections and thought that everything was REAL. Then I woke up from my dream when his other priorities took precedence over me. I might have been his life's first priority 14 years ago, but I guess everyone moved on. I'm no longer a priority, in fact, I've probably become a form of entertainment. Like the tamagotchi we used to play, when he feels like it, he will come and pet me and show me some affection but other times he is just too occupied with his own stuff. If he cannot choose me over them, then I shall look for another owner. Again my pride is probably acting up again, but this is me. I will not belittle myself just to gamble for that uncertain future.

"ONE DAY EVEN YOU ARE FREE AND WANTED TO CHECK ON YOUR TAMAGOTCHI IS DOING, YOU WILL REALISED THAT I'M DEAD!"

So after I'm kinda firm on that, I realised that though Kyo brought me joy and confidence, he was probably the most "toxic person" I need to get rid of. At the end of the day, I shouldn't be too affected by others, especially people who are not even part of your daily life. He has brought me enough emotional turmoil and it's really time for me to stablise myself.

Though I've signed my appointment letter, one headhunter called and asked if I would like to explore a semi-government job. Since the next job doesn't really pay better than my current job, I thought why not? Can try and see where I stand, and I got shortlisted for an interview! So I guess I'll go for the interview nonetheless. If I don't get it, at least I still have another job waiting. If I get it, then I'll see which company has a better package.

See how I could think better once I've straighten out my thoughts?