越老越少

Have you ever wondered why the older you get, the lesser friends you have? I chanced upon this article today and thought about it. It's definitely true for me. I seemed to have lost the interest to make new friends. As you grow comfortable with your life, you tend to want to focus on "older friends" whom you've probably known for years. There are lesser inhibitions, lesser agendas, more sincerity, more genuineness.

Friends, more is not necessary more.

Friends who I still hung out with were made when I was in my late teens to twenties. This is probably the period that you are still figuring out what you want in life and people whom you come into contact with will influence and eventually shape you into who you are now. As you move on to your thirties, you will be weighed down by your job, marriage, kids, family, etc to have the energy to make new friends. New friends are not necessarily bad, in fact they can provide fresh perspectives to your life. But to get to know someone and to build that bond, it takes a lot of time and effort to do so. Most of us are already too exhausted by the end of the day to do so. 

As an introvert working in marketing, I find myself struggling to overcome the strong inertia to talk to partners/people. I've always wished that I could just fade into the background as a wallpaper. However, I really do enjoy hanging out with friends or in large groups, but very often I find that I couldn't blend in or engage in good conversations, probably also due to the fact that I'm not very smart to begin with. I guess that's why I really enjoy social drinking when alcohol helps you to overcome all your insecurities. That being said, friends made over drinking session do not usually last.

Yes, along the way you may still meet one or few people whom you click very well and feel like it's 相恨见晚. So cherish them cos friends are important in your life, no matter what stage of life you are in. Friendships help you to carry on in life and it's always important to keep the bond going. You don't need a lot of "friends" in your life, just genuine and truthful ones will do. Remember, 重质不重量. So spend a bit more time, energy and effort to keep important friendships alive!

Source: Instagram @kangyongcai