Food for Thought

Going through a rather tough patch now. Many things have been going through my mind. Couldn't sleep well cos I can't seem to find the answers to my questions. Have been and will be speaking to many people... people who have known me for very very long. Hopefully they can help provide some answers or at least insights to me. Hopefully they understand me better than I do.

Why is it that people get married? And how do you stay married? Why do some people chose to end the marriage?

Are there things that can only be achieved in a marriage? In Singapore where "nation-building" is encouraged, there are tons of benefits to a marriage. But why do people not stay married? About 7000+ divorce cases yearly. People are not committed enough? Lifestyle misalignment? Change of heart? Since there are so many uncertainties in life, why do one still go ahead with signing that paper contract? Is it in hope of a happily-ever-after fairy tale story? Is it for agendas that are unspeakable? Or are people just overwhelmed by these romantic passing emotions that will eventually wear off, scientifically-speaking, after about 3 years?

So what is the secret to a long-lasting marriage? Endurance? Ignorance? My dad was involved with 1 PRC woman some time back. My mum kept quiet about it but eventually my brother found out and there was a big fight. As my brother reprimanded my dad, my mum had an extremely sad look and just told him to leave it. Why do my mum react and behave this way? Shouldn't infidelity be taken seriously? It's simply a breach of the entire union.

I'm not sure of the details of the affair, whether it was an emotional or phyiscal one, but I couldn't understand why my mum was devoted to this marriage. We were old enough to take care of ourselves and she definitely could earn her own living. Possibly bounded by traditions and social stigmas, both my aunt (yes her husband also fell for some fucking Vietnamese) and her didn't face up to the problem, they endured and I guess it turned out the way they've wanted. They are still married, not necessarily the happiest since there are so many other distractions in life, and it will continue this way since the young vixens are not committed to old men.

So I read somewhere that "relationships are not only about love but they are also about hatred, frustrations and disappointments. And marriage is that invisible thread that holds you together when the light of your love is wrapped around by the clouds of misunderstanding. It hold you together during those weak moments of your relationships."

Note to self. When you are married, you start to feel secure and comfortable. But comfort makes people lazy. And because relationships require hard work and getting lazy is a huge driver for relationship failures.